the last retreat, the next retreat

i haven’t written about my experience at my last meditation retreat because honestly i’m still processing it. the director has a very new age view for the material and that shook my confidence in this set of retreats and my commitment to them. i’m not a huge fan of new age conceptualization basically.

well tomorrow i’m going to the next weekend retreat, and this has the potential to bother me further or maybe clarify the things that are troubling me. so i’m really nervous. the meditation practices that i’ve learned over the last year have been incredibly useful to me; much better than the practice i had before. i was hoping these retreats would also propel my practice as fruitfully as the last set did. but now i’m not sure.

the last retreat bothered me so much in fact that i haven’t had a personal practice since. i still sit twice a week with my groups, but my daily practice has been something i’m not sure i want to do until my confidence is restored or i decide this is not the right path for me. it’s all very shocking to my system.

i don’t want any comments about this post that are encouraging, honestly. this is something i’ll have to figure out on my own. but i did want to say where i was at in at least vague terms.

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