the development of peace

so that last quote i posted has been percolating in my mind today. i walked downtown to meet with my accountant, and i passed a multitude of people and a multiplicity of emotions and tensions. mostly i noticed the tension, on people’s faces, in their shoulders, in their gaze. that seemed to be predominant… tension… i think the monkey mind quote is somewhat getting at that. because having a sense of peace, or calm abiding, isn’t to me at a gross level. it isn’t that you’re avoiding conflict or quelling anger. it’s more about relaxing into whatever is arising. that could be relaxing with irritation or anger. so therefore, i don’t mean some happy go lucky going with the flow. shamatha is not like the “it’s all good” stoner or apologist. it seems to be more about relating directly and precisely to what’s coming up in our experience. that could be tension and fear, as so many people on the street today appeared, but instead of holding it all together and holding up the armor i think it would be a sort of relaxing with it. genuinely being upset, though not acting out based on it. genuinely being one’s self, even with all the qwerks and fears and awkwardness of being human. meditation is something to do with that, something to do with practicing genuineness.

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