monkey see, monkey do serves as a personal blog and creative outlet for
shotgun or waterbed
trungpa rinpoche gave a humorous teaching once on “shotgun or waterbed”, the two main ways we react to people that we meet. an unspecified third way is to ignore them completely. this was a teaching on the three root poisons in buddhism: passion, aggression, and ignorance. but his version of it seems easier for me to remember and work with. when i encounter people, i sometimes find a subtle emotion arising of shotgun and/or waterbed. and it’s interesting when i try labeling the experience as such:
shotgun - something about the person makes me defensive or uncomfortable. doesn’t mean i want to shoot them, but i might be a little leery or nervous about them or on guard. like i want to have a shotgun handy. or they might rub me the wrong way inherently it seems. or i have some history with that person and i just wish they were not part of my situation any more. things would be nicer if they weren’t around.
waterbed - ooo, they look good. or maybe they would be fun to spend time with. or something about them is just inviting and i’d like to chat with them. for some reason, i’d like to explore or connect with that person or see if there’s something there. doesn’t have to be sexual, as the name waterbed implies, but could just be a subtle sense of feeling comfortable and mildly interested in the person and what they’re about.
both shotgun and waterbed - for me this is either because I know the person well and there’s history there, i’m both uneasy with and also interested in a connection. or if it’s a stranger, there is some quality that i find interesting or i like but also some quality that i find i don’t like. but i have some discernment and opinion about them. so i experience a subtle feeling of both aversion and attraction.
neither - many people i encounter fail to register any reaction for me. they’re just there. and they sort of float by my point of view but i don’t have emotion arise from the experience.
next time you’re walking down the street, whenever you come upon someone, pay close attention to the emotional reaction you have to that person. do you detect a quality of shotgun or a quality of waterbed? let me know what you find!
p.s. when you think of me, is it shotgun or waterbed?
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24. July 2007 at 12:31 pm :
Those categories are so limiting, emotionally. I don’t like them. There are only really two choices. If you go for the third choice, you alternate between the first two, and with the fourth choice you feel nothing, so it doesn’t really count. I hope we’re not that simple emotionally. I’ll try not to be.
When I think of you it’s banana bread. Monkey See… banana bread.
26. July 2007 at 3:05 pm :
good point. they’re really more proto-emotions, emotional subtext, than a full blown emotion. the buddhist canon is describing emotions as varied, but underlying them is this subtle sense of push or pull, or neutrality. so this is getting at the subtle push or pull feeling.
mmm… banana bread…
5. August 2007 at 7:49 pm :
waterbed, definitely. followed by subtle uneasiness. then more waterbed
9. August 2007 at 12:07 pm :
Wow, you didn’t give us the option of neither?? LOL. And since I haven’t actually met you, I can’t really say. You’re just Nice Dave.
I have a friend who I met online. Online, he is definitely shotgun. In person, he’s none of those things listed. He’s annoying and complex and angsty, and you can’t totally discount him, either. He is also prone to large and seemingly genuine gestures. So little, limiting categories just don’t work well. :)(Me? I’m probably all shotgun, though. bg)